My first marriage was a total disaster in terms of debt. We had only been married one month when my ex-husband went out and procured a credit card in order that he could purchase me a Christmas present. I would much rather have not had the present and told him so. I would much rather be Debt free than have any amount of nice presents.
That began our slippery slope that culminated in a voluntary bankruptcy agreement, overwhelming stress, and the loss of our home.
Our marriage finally ended after I gave my ex-husband an ultimatum that I was separating my bank account and that if he obtained any more credit, I would leave. Terrified of me doing so he decided to leave first! (He told me later he had obtained more credit and couldn’t sleep at night he was so worried about me finding out). Soon after we lost our home – which really didn’t bother me as it had been remortgage so many times there was absolutely no equity left. I went through hell but came out the other side and looking back his leaving was the best thing that ever happened in our relationship! Apart of course from my children.
Wise Words
I always remember my ex-husband’s old grandad saying to me there are two important things in life: “Keep a good table and never get into Debt”. Wiser words were never spoken. Why then didn’t my ex take his advice.? Well I now understand having taken a masters degree in psychology that my ex was a raging narcissist! And materialism and narcissism are like conjoined twins.
The debts most certainly weren’t mine. I was very frugal. I remember asking the butcher for boiling chickens to make soups. And making egg curry – when the children were small as we were so short of cash. unfortunately, my ex didn’t share my frugal aspirations and just spent even more the more I saved. He even raided the children’s savings accounts.
A Slave to My Mortgage
It was no surprise then that once my marriage ended, I swore I would never obtain another credit card. Of course, there is one debt none of us can avoid who live in the UK – and that is a mortgage (unless of course you rent). This had been the bane of my existence for the 25 years I was married because as I mentioned my ex-husband repeatedly remortgage our property.
Once alone, I had to start all over again at the age of 45. I achieve my dream and with my new husband obtained a beautiful home in a beautiful village. We had good friends good jobs and a good lifestyle. However, every month there was that daunting prospect of stomping up £1000 to pay for the roof over our head. Though we manage this for three years, it was always in the back of my mind that if one of us got sick and couldn’t work, we would lose our home again.
Moving to Bulgaria to live in a house we already owned was more than a breath of fresh air. It was more like a tsunami of exhilaration! It was just such a relief to have that burden removed and to know that no matter what else happened I would always have a roof over my head.
Being Debt Free
Being Debt Free after the 25 years of torture I endured has been a salve to my soul. Fortunately, my new husband shares my debt free ambitions and apart from a minor blip we’ve got through our 20 years of marriage unscathed.
So has moving to Bulgaria to live in a home we already own been the main reason I have remained debt free? Well it’s definitely a big part of it! But there are other aspects. For example, credit is not as readily available here as it was in England or at least it wasn’t when we first moved over here. I think it’s becoming more of an issue but thankfully as foreigners we are not allowed to borrow here anyway, so we’re not tempted. Secondly, people over here are definitely nowhere near as materialistic as they were in England – especially in the small villages. There’s no “keeping up with the Joneses“ no one competes for attention with fancy cars or posh houses. The only competition here is how big ones tomatoes are!
Another factor that aids our debt free journey is that the Bulgarians much prefer cash to cards. In fact many places don’t take cards at all – something that the English may find totally alien. Now that we’ve got used to this we prefer it also. There is a very good feeling to paying your bills at the beginning of the month and then working out how much you’ve got left for the other items. Having cash to spend really brings it home to you when you buy something just how much cash you are spending. Using cards easily masks just how much actual cash one is giving away.
And when the cash runs out it runs out we don’t have an overdraft facility over here in fact I don’t think the banks provide this facility on a regular basis it’s just expected that one “lives within one’s means“.
We Have Escaped to a Simpler Place and Time
There’s a saying over here that Bulgaria is 50 years behind the rest of the world and that when the world ends they won’t know here for another 50 years! So you could say that Bulgaria is behind the Western world still using cash. Rather than perceiving this as a detriment, however, we see it as a plus. And this is the reason we have called our channel “Escape to a Simpler Place and Time” because this is what we feel we have been fortunate enough to do.
There certainly isn’t the problem with debt here like that which I endured . Most families pass property down to their children. often times three generations will live on three floors of the same house. Of course that doesn’t mean that there are no mortgages – apartments in cities are extremely expensive.
Karma
So you may wonder what happened to my ex-husband. well he had a very important job in the community – I won’t say what it was – but when his employers discovered his debt issues they fired him.. My children recently told me that he’s not even allowed to go and buy Kentucky without his new wife’s permission. On the other hand I own four properties in this beautiful country. I often think of Job. I did indeed go through a Job type experience but like Job God has given me everything back that the locusts stole and more besides. Joel 2:25-27
Being debt free has always been of prime importance to me. I never forget the Charles Dickens’ quote from his novel David Copperfield where his character Wilkins Micawber eloquently warnes us of the insidious nature of Debt: “Annual income twenty pounds, annual expenditure nineteen nineteen and six, result happiness. Annual income twenty pounds, annual expenditure twenty pound ought and . six, result misery.” I think that most Bulgarians are on the same page.
our latest video on living debt free here in Bulgaria.